Romania

Official coach slogan - Romania, we are proud of you and love you!
Unofficial coach slogan - Romania, fangs for the memories (Oh come on! Give me a break, have you seen how late it was when I wrote this?)
Bizarrely paired up with fellow group qualifiers Holland, similarly to the French and the Italians, in what could be called the Group of Familiarity (but won't be because everyone is contractually obliged by UEFA to call it the GROUP OF DEATH), the Romanians won't be expecting too much from a desperately unlucky draw despite having easily qualified for the tournament with two games to spare.
European cup winning striker (with Steau Bucharest in 1986), Victor Piturca, is in charge of the team for his second spell, having previously led them to the EURO 2000 Finals before being unceremoniously sacked prior to the start of the tournament.
The golden days of World Cup '94 seem a lifetime ago now and Romania lack any player even approaching the class of the sublimely talented, left footed maestro, Georghi Hagi ("the Maradonna of the Carpathians", why are English players never nicknamed after mountain ranges? Maybe Beckham could've been the "Maradonna of the Downs"?).
Captain, Cristian Chivu, who started his career at Ajax but has also played most of his career in Italy for Roma and now Inter Milan, and former Chelsea cokehead, Adrian Mutu, are the closest to bone fide stars, but Romania will be hoping to learn from Greece's example four years again and show that a well drilled team can overcome the individual talents of the group's 'Big Three'.
TC's prediction - A surprise win against the French but glorious failure versus the Italians and an heartbreakingly late narrow defeat by the Dutch in the final game, will mean that the Romanians will miss out on a quarter-final berth.
Player most likely to cause 'hilarity' when Lawro realises his name sounds a bit like his commentating chum - Reserve centre-half, Cosmin Moti.
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